omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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