she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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