Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
i barfeds in our rink
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
