living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
