It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
