Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
