Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She bit a glass in half.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
