I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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