he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
