Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
