You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
