I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Text me some of your sweat
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
