after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
