Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
