did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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