He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
