It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
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