Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
