Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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