just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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