dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
