wat bout pragnant strippers??
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
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He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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