So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
