Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
