Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
