HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
