the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
PANTIES FOUND
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