Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
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