wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize
