I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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