everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
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