so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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