He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
You know, be my cock's hype man.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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