Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
