I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
