don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
