dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Randomize
