You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
