you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
