I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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