cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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