drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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