Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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