I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
we're making bets on your personal life
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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