i think my mom watched the whole time
Its about making memories worth repressing
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
