Pants 0. Shit 1.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
