1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
