There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
