Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I wear drunk well.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
