Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
